Health Department Mission

Rap Version

Our goal at LCDHE's to keep you safe from bad disease,
To keep you healthy, keep you free from early death or injuries.
Our prime directive says: It's smart to stop disease before it starts.
The next best goal we try to meet is: Catch it while we still can treat.

Our jobs aren't sexy, that's sure clear, and you won't even know we're here
When we succeed, but if we quit then everything will turn to spit(?)!
(Or septic waste--that's what I mean.) We work to keep your water clean
And good to drink; and to make sure the food you eat is safe and pure.

For businesses that might pollute our air, our water, soil, or food,
We try to teach--to help's the trick. (As last resort, the law's our stick.)
You'd be surprised just what a rush we get from knowing--when you flush--
Your toilet's waste goes where it oughter instead of fouling our groundwater.

Diseases old and new we fight, the ones that kill, the ones that might:
T.B. and AIDS can bring us tears, (bubonic plague the past few years.)
There's measles, mumps, and salmonella that make a person feel like hella.
Our strength we'll give till our last ounce to fight off bugs you can't pronounce.

Our Child Health staff would like to see all kids as healthy as can be,
And growing well, so they can do the things that every kid should do.
We teach the moms what they should know, what skills develop as kids grow.
If you're upset by toddler's screams just wait until those kids are teens!

The Health Ed staff is here to teach: The Good Life is within your reach!
Eat right, don't smoke, do exercise, get check-ups and get immunized,
Have lots of friends, and don't get stressed, Don't let drugs make your life a mess.
(It's good advice, but cynics say, "Eat right, work out--DIE ANYWAY!"

To make each child a wanted child is Family Planning's goal, and while
Our record on teen moms is good, we'd make it better if we could.
There are some folks we do not reach or fail to learn the things we teach.
(One had a baby, quite unplanned, 'cause she'd crocheted her diaphragm.)

Although this poem is silly stuff, don't think our mission statement's fluff.
Our goals are clear: We care a lot if death occurs when it should not.
And though no cheers nor heartfelt praise may come to us, this one thought stays:
We don't know who but--'cause we've tried--someone who might have, hasn't died.