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Safety Planning Information for Victims

If you have decided to stay in the relationship:

  • Think of a safe plane to go if an argument occurs-avoid rooms with no exit (bathroom), or rooms with weapons (kitchen).
  • Think about and make a list of safe people to contact.
  • Keep money with you at all times.
  • Memorize all important telephone numbers.
  • Establish a code word or sign so that family, friends, teachers or co-workers know when to call for help.
  • Think about what you will say to your partner if he/she becomes violent.
  • Establish a safety plan that provides for sheltering your pet. Be sure that your pet's vaccinations are current.
  • Remember you have the right to live without fear and violence.

If you have decided to leave the relationship:

  • Change your phone number. However, keep your victim advocate informed of how to stay in contact with you.
  • Screen calls.
  • Save and document all contacts, messages, injuries or other incidents involving the batterer.
  • Keep a copy of your mandatory restraining order/ no contact order on your person at all times. Put a copy of it in your car and at your place of work.
  • Report all violations of the restraining and or no contact order to law enforcement and then inform your advocate about the violation.
  • Obtain a civil restraining order. Crossroads (482-3502) can help you obtain a civil restraining order.
  • Chang the locks on your home. Victim Compensation might be able to reimburse you for the cost.
  • Avoid staying alone.
  • Plan on how you will get away if confronted by your former partner.
  • Vary your routine.
  • Notify school, work, neighbors and childcare about the situation.
  • Call crossroads (482-3502) if you need support, counseling or shelter.

If you are leaving the relationship or are thinking of leaving, take important papers and documents with you to enable you to apply for benefits or take legal action. Important papers you should keep in a safe and accessible place:

  • Social Security cards
  • Birth certificates for you and your children
  • Marriage license
  • Your pets license(s) / proof of vaccinations / veterinarian receipts.
  • Leases or deeds in your name or both your and your partners name.
  • Your checkbook, charge cards, bank statement, charge account statement.
  • Insurance policies
  • Proof of income for you and your partner (pay stubs or W-2's)
  • Documentation of past incident of abuse (photos, police reports, medical records, etc.)

The most valuable tool you have is your intuition. This is your "gut reaction", "inner voice", "hunch", or "nagging feeling". Your intuition is your internal warning system that goes off when something is not right in your environment. Do not let anyone minimize or ignore that feeling. If your intuitive bells and whistles are going off, take action. Don't deny your feelings or explain them away. Your intuition is based on all your past experiences and it is the single greatest predictor of danger. In other words, you need to trust yourself.

Children's Safety Checklist

  • Stay out of the fight
  • Avoid getting trapped in a small room, a closet or in the kitchen
  • Find a phone in a safe place
  • Escape to a safe place-find a relative or a neighbor and ask for help
  • Above all-remember "it is not your fault"